Step by Step
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Today, let me not forget , as an alcoholic, that my character is one of extremes: one drink wasn't enough, so it became so many to skyrocket me into oblivion; anger wasn't expressed in acceptable forms and instead became spontaneous explosions of verbal or physical abuse; love was obsessive and possessive instead of allowing those I "loved" to be themselves and not what I expected them to be; when I was drunk, I was the best thing to happen to anyone; the morning after, I was the worst that happened to them; in apologizing, either I expected not just acceptance but praise for being so "big" to apologize in the first place, or I was so self-defeating that I prefaces an amend with, "I wouldn't blame you if ..." Today, when I am faced with responding to anything, let me remember the Steps and their Principles of surrender of self and will to the Higher Power, of humility, gratitude and selflessness, and of service in reacting with neither expectation of unreasonable returns nor with self-defeatism. Today, I am sober. I am now free to be what I am. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Today, let me not forget , as an alcoholic, that my character is one of extremes: one drink wasn't enough, so it became so many to skyrocket me into oblivion; anger wasn't expressed in acceptable forms and instead became spontaneous explosions of verbal or physical abuse; love was obsessive and possessive instead of allowing those I "loved" to be themselves and not what I expected them to be; when I was drunk, I was the best thing to happen to anyone; the morning after, I was the worst that happened to them; in apologizing, either I expected not just acceptance but praise for being so "big" to apologize in the first place, or I was so self-defeating that I prefaces an amend with, "I wouldn't blame you if ..." Today, when I am faced with responding to anything, let me remember the Steps and their Principles of surrender of self and will to the Higher Power, of humility, gratitude and selflessness, and of service in reacting with neither expectation of unreasonable returns nor with self-defeatism. Today, I am sober. I am now free to be what I am. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2013
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