Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Nov. 19, 2013 - Step by Step

Step by Step
Tuesday, Nov. 19, 2013

" ...(T)he main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chance are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic's drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can't feel the ache." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 ("There Is a Solution"), p 23.

Today, I will not waste time asking, analyzing or over-analyzing why I set out on the pattern of drinking that led me to where I am today. The answer is simple and obvious: I am an alcoholic. And if a gnawing question persists why I am an alcoholic, this passage from the Big Book hints to the direction that might lead me to an answer - the Fourth Step. How many mornings, days and nights did I beat myself on the head with a hammer so I couldn't feel the ache of physical, emotional and spiritual defeat? In the Program, I am armed with an arsenal to counter that defeat, focus not on wasting anything more on how to live without alcohol, but to recover in sobriety. Why did I set off that pattern of drinking that got me here, in this Program? I am alcoholic. That simple. Today, I can deal with it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2013

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