Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Coming out as gay: Should it or does it matter?

CNN newscaster and talk show host Anderson Cooper's disclosure this week that he is gay arguably was less a coming out than a confirmation to the public of his sexuality. Cooper's orientation apparently either was suspected or known within the broadcast news industry anyway but put to rest speculation by the public.
The "news" stirred an avalanche of messages supporting or congratulating Cooper for his courage in publicly disclosing his sexuality. And they're warranted - but why? Other of the media's most recognized names have come out as gay, but Cooper may well be the "highest ranking" to acknowledge his sexuality. But is coming out as gay any more a revelation than coming out as straight or any other sexual or gender status? Probably not. Instead, Cooper's stepping forward as gay hopefully moved public dialogue about sexuality, homosexuality in particular, from the realm of "Should it matter?" to "Does it matter?"
It shouldn't, but unfortunately it does matter - at least to the right-wing religious and conservative factions and to some relatives of non-heterosexual people who still struggle to accept themselves as gay before they can even think of coming out to their families. It also matters to the gay school-age child who fears bullying or rejection if his sexuality is even suspected, a fear so intense and bullying by peers so vicious that suicide rates among gay teens are at unacceptable levels.
Despite the legal and legislative protections afforded to gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender and transsexual people, societal and institutional prejudice remains to some extent in the form of states and local governments that do not extend to same-sex couples the same benefits that are offered to straight or "traditional" couples. On an individual basis, people who are not straight and even are perceived to be other than straight, are subject to rejection and acts of physical violence.
We cannot look to state and federal governments to redress this disparity, however. And the disparity itself is not to legislate acceptance of non-straight people but rather to legislate non-discrimination. After all, although it's been tried in other issues, government simply cannot legislate morality. Nor should it. Instead, the judiciary must be moved to enforce existing laws and protections that should be aimed at "punishing" individuals and institutions that discriminate and carry out acts of violence against non-straight people.
Yet the judiciary cannot be expected to impose on individual families the requirement to accept the son or daughter who is struggling to "confess" their sexuality but fear rejection by their loved ones. This is where the gay, bi, transgender and transsexual communities have a responsibility: educational and support programs that emphasize that the sexuality of a loved one is not the preeminent characteristic that defines the total person, that being anything other than straight does not diminish the non-straight's contributions any more than being straight enhances those contributions.
Anderson Cooper's "coming out" cannot and should not be received as something courageous solely on the grounds of being gay. Instead, it should be welcomed as an opportunity to advance the still-taboo subject of non-straight sexuality from the realm of "Should it matter?" to "Does it really matter?" If Cooper's acknowledgment can achieve that, he may well deserve the status of hero.

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