Wednesday, March 8, 2023
Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
The problem is this: skills learned in danger require the presence of danger to be effective.
— Wayne Muller
Many of us had stressful childhoods. Some of us lived in chaotic households. Some of us were badly treated by the people we relied on to take care of us. Life often felt dangerous, but we developed skills to deal with the chaos. Some of us learned to keep things to ourselves, some of us learned to please those around us, and some of us learned to avoid all confrontation or disagreement.
These childhood skills, learned through hard lessons in the presence of danger, may have become fixed in our immature minds. But in our adult lives, those dangers may no longer be present. No one is beating us up anymore, but we are still flinching. The door is open for us to walk out, but we now must learn the skills of living in a safer world. We can take small steps by saying how we feel, by opening our hearts to trusted friends, and by asking for what we would like and being generous with others. These skills can be learned. As we gain this knowledge, we have more and more rewarding lives.
Today, I will take some risks that are my privilege as an adult, even if they seem risky.
Hazelden Foundation
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