Monday, Feb. 13, 2023
Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Why are we surprised when fig trees bear figs?
-~Margaret Titzel
A frequent source of discomfort and pain with adult children is unrealistic expectations. One of the greatest of these is expecting sane, rational, trusting behavior from those who may well not have it to give.
Alcoholism is a form of insanity – perhaps not the committable kind, but a disease that renders the victim incapable of behavior that most would call normal. Until the advent of recovery, the alcoholic is subject to a bewildering assortment of delusions, denials, manipulations, and subterfuges. In short, nonrecovering alcoholics are incapable of functioning in healthy relationships.
When we expect anything more from a loved and beloved nonrecovering alcoholic, we are setting ourselves up for heartbreak. Fig trees bear figs, not peaches. What we are able to do emanates from what we are, not from what we wish we were.
Today, I will not frustrate myself with unrealistic expectations. What I cannot change, I will accept.
Hazelden Foundation
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