July 31, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

Friday, July 31, 2020

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves. — Thomas Carlyle

There is great power and wisdom in growing to the point where silence becomes our friend. It is in silence that we best listen, and a great portion of life’s best secrets can only be learned in silence.

Those running from themselves and the hurtful lessons of the past fear silence more than any other reality. The fear is I may hear myself in that silence, and surely the sourness of that word would sicken me. Such people are always lonely—whether alone or surrounded by multitudes.

In reality, if we stand still and be quiet, the word we hear softly spoken in the inner court of our own castle is full of beauty and loveliness. If we listen, we will learn that we are not bad; that we are not disgusting, failure-ridden people; and that we are not powerless. Quite the contrary, there is much that is right and noble about us. Alone or lonely—it is a matter of courting silence or not.

Every day I take more pleasure in my own company.

Hazelden Foundation

July 31, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

Step by Step
Friday, July 31, 2020

"The old (drinking) pattern reasserted itself, but it was no longer once every six months. The intervals grew shorter. The binges were longer. They were harder to get off. ...
"That type of drinking is not pleasant. It is no longer enjoyable. You no longer get the kicks. It is desperation drinking. I was drinking to keep away the shakes ...I was drinking to try to hold on to a job, to try and hold on to my home, to try to hold on to my wife, to try to hold on to my sanity." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part III ("They Lost Nearly All"), Ch 8 ("Desperation Drinking"), p 514.

Today, honesty to accept that I am in deep trouble if drinking is my answer to any desperation I feel - be it a situation I desperately want not to face, or the talk with my spouse, partner or employer, the constantly ringing telephone that I will not answer because someone might be calling about my drinking or some problem it has caused. If drinking is my solution to any problem in my life, let me hear the voices of experience that my solution has become a crisis bigger than the problem I'm avoiding. And if I have not drank for any significant number of 24 Hours, chances are I now cannot remember the problem I drank to avoid. But in drinking, I and I alone created my life's single direst crises that was far worse than any problem I faced sober. Today, alcohol will not be my solution to any problem that I may encounter. My answer is the Twelve Steps. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2020

July 31, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Friday, July 31, 2020

AA Thought for the Day
This leaves only one day - today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore do our best to live but one day at a time.

Am I living one day at a time?

Meditation for the Day
Give God the gift of a thankful heart. Try to see causes of thankfulness in your everyday life. When life seems hard and troubles crowd, then look for some reasons for thankfulness. There is nearly always something you can be thankful for. The offering of thanksgiving is indeed a sweet incense going up to God throughout a busy day. Seek diligently for something to be glad and thankful about. You will acquire in time the habit of blessings. Each new day some new cause for joy and gratitude will spring to your mind and you will thank God sincerely.

Prayer for the Day
I pray for a truly thankful heart. I pray that I may be constantly reminded of causes for sincere gratitude.

Hazelden Foundation

July 31, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Friday, July 31, 2020

Reflection for the Day
One of the most serious consequences of the me-me-me syndrome is that we lose touch with practically everyone around us - not to mention reality itself. The essence of self-pity is total self-absorption, and it feeds on itself. Rather than ignore such an emotional state - or deny that we're in it - we need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can begin to do something about it.

Am I living in the problem rather than the answer?

Today I Pray
I pray that my preoccupation with self, which is wound up tight as a Maypole, may unwind itself and let its streamers fly again for others to catch and hold. May the thin, familiar wail of me-me-me become a chorus of us-us-us, as we in the fellowship pick apart our self-fullness and look at it together.

Today I Will Remember
Change me-me-me to us-us-us.

Hazelden Foundation

July 31, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Friday, July 31, 2020

In our drinking days, we were ready to take a poke at anyone who suggested we couldn't handle our "likker." It was a very sore spot with us, as we all kidded ourselves into believing that our over-indulgence was a well-guarded secret when, actually, we knew it was not.

Upon our entrance in AA, we soon made a public confession of our alcoholism and, to our surprise, we lost some of the sense of stigma and we could learn to laugh at our affliction and at ourselves. Our sense of guilt was lessened by our acknowledgment of its existence.

Hazelden Foundation

July 31, 2020 - Good morning and let's do our best to make it a rip-roarin' and worthwhile Friday

Good morning and in spite of or despite the discouraging events we're all experiencing these days, let's make it a fantastic Friday without the influence of anything and anyone thinking they have the control to take us down

July 30, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Living with Families

I was forty-six years old before I finally admitted to myself and someone else that my grandfather always managed to make me feel guilty, angry, and controlled. — Anonymous

We may love and care about our family very much. Family members may love and care about us. But interacting with some members may be a real trigger to our codependency—sometimes to a deep abyss of shame, rage, anger, guilt, and helplessness.

It can be difficult to achieve detachment, on an emotional level, with certain family members. It can be difficult to separate their issues from ours. It can be difficult to own our power. Difficult, but not impossible.

The first step is awareness and acceptance—simple acknowledgment, without guilt, of our feelings and thoughts. We do not have to blame our family members. We do not have to blame or shame ourselves. Acceptance is the goal— acceptance and freedom to choose what we want and need to do to take care of ourselves with that person. We can become free of the patterns of the past. We are recovering. Progress is the goal.

Today, Higher Power, help me be patient with myself as I learn how to apply recovery behaviors with family members. Help me strive today for awareness and acceptance.

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

Step by Step
Thursday, July 30, 2020

Today, I realize the character defects identified in my Fourth Step probably existed before my drinking days and that alcohol simply developed them to their destructive zenith. My Sixth and Seventh steps of first admitting to God that I am powerless and then asking Him to remove my defects assume paramount honesty in my recovery because I am likely to be challenged to release defects that have had a lifetime to take root - more than those that those that were born of my drinking days. And if my defects are lifelong, simply not drinking will not give me the recovery and quality of sobriety for which I strive. Today, I am an alcoholic, and abstaining from drinking is not enough. I consider myself a part of AA and, today, as I talk the talk, I will walk the walk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2020

July 30, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Thursday, July 30, 2020

AA Thought for the Day
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and perhaps its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn.

Do I still worry too much about tomorrow?

Meditation for the Day
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith is not seeing, but believing. Down through the ages, there have always been those who obeyed the heavenly vision, not seeing but believing in God. And their faith was rewarded. So shall it be to you. Good things will happen to you. You cannot see God, but you can see the results of faith in human lives, changing them from defeat to victory. God's grace is available to all who have faith - not seeing, but believing. With faith, life can be victorious and happy.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have faith enough to believe without seeing. I pray that I may be content with the results of my faith.

Hazelden Foundation

July 30, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Thursday, July 30, 2020

Reflection for the Day
When we first come to The Program, the most common variety of self-pity begins:"Poor me! Why can't I (fill in your own addiction) like everybody else? Why me?" Such bemoaning, if allowed to persist, is a surefire invitation for a long walk off a short pier - right back to the mess we were in before we came to The Program. When we stick around The Program for a while, we discover that it's not just "me" at all; we become involved with people, from all walks of life, who are in exactly the same boat.

Am I losing interest in my comfortably familiar "pity pot?"

Today I Pray
When self-pity has me droopy and inert, may I look up, look around and perk up. Self-pity, God wills, vanishes in the light of other people's shared troubles. May I always wish for friends honest enough to confront me if they see me digging my way back down into my old pity pit.

Today I Will Remember
Turn self-involvement into involvement.

Hazelden Foundation

July 30, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Thursday, July 30, 2020

No pleasures of our drinking days even compensated for those horrible nights of wakeful tossing. The interminable pacing the floor; those night sweats; the endless hours when we couldn't sleep and at the same time dreaded falling asleep. The hours that seemed to stretch into eternity as we lay in bed with remorse as a bedfellow. Then the Hell of the goof-balls that made our nights better and our days worse.

The physical pain we might have endured for many more years, but the anguish of the heart and soul was unendurable.

Hazelden Foundation

July 30, 2020 - Good morning, it's Thursday and let's reserve it for gratitude and a commitment to worthiness

Good morning to this beautiful new Thursday with gratitude and a commitment to make it productive and worthwhile, meaning we don't empower anything and anyone to decide to screw it up for us

July 29, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Responsibility is to be taken, not assigned. We are often eager to point out the faults of others, especially when they have not accepted the degree of culpability we think they should. Placing a burden of shame or blame on another—or tossing it upon our own shoulders—is not what responsibility is really about. It is not a constant barrage of incrimination, making others wrong because of their mistakes or putting them down for making less-than-skillful choices. Nor is it about drowning them in a sea of regrets—a fate we also must avoid ourselves.

The accountability that taking responsibility requests is born of a deep desire to grow, to look first within ourselves before pointing a finger at another. To ask, over and over, what is—or was—my part in creating the current dilemma, and what do I need to do about that? This places us squarely in solution mode rather than remaining stuck in a painful past or an imagined, fearful future. Responsibility keeps us present, willing, open, and in discovery mode. It sorts through what is really mine and what is theirs, a liberating perspective that empowers everyone.

When I assume responsibility, I free myself from being a victim.

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

Step by Step
Wednesday, July 29, 2020

"I never knew which came first, the thinking or the drinking. If I could only stop thinking, I wouldn't drink. If I could only stop drinking, maybe I wouldn't think. But they were all mixed up together, and I was all mixed up inside. And yet I had to have that drink. You know the deteriorating effects, the disintegrating effects of chronic wine-drinking. I cared nothing about my personal appearance. I didn't care what I looked like. I didn't care what I did. To me, taking a bath was just being in a place with a bottle where I could drink in privacy. I had to have it with me at night, in case I woke up and needed that drink." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 4 ("The Housewife Who Drank at Home"), p 337.

Today, I don't care which came first, the delusional and irrational thinking or the drinking, because it doesn't matter. Whether some deluded thinking led me to alcohol or if drinking fueled a thinking problem is moot because, now, the two are intertwined. My thinking now cannot be that I can start drinking responsibly if I get my thinking in a logical sync. Nor can I believe that I can drink responsibly. Neither is possible. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Does it matter? The chicken's polluted. Today, I don't care where my drinking thinking or thinking drinking came from. I need to correct both, and I'm where I need to be to get both - in recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2020

July 29, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Wednesday, July 29, 2020

AA Thought for the Day
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept from fear and apprehension. One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone beyond recall.

Do I still worry about what happened yesterday?

Meditation for the Day
"God will not suffer you to be tempted above what you are able, but with the temptation He will also find a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." If you have enough faith and trust in God, He will give you all the strength you need to face every temptation and to overcome it. Nothing will prove too hard for you to bear. You can face any situation. "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." You can overcome any temptation with God's help. So fear nothing.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may face every situation without fear. I pray that nothing will prove too hard for me to bear.

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Reflection for the Day
The feeling of self-pity, which we've all suffered at one time or another, is one of the ugliest emotions we can experience. We don't even relish the thought of admitting to others that we're awash in self-pity. We hate being told that it shows; we quickly argue that we're feeling another emotion instead; we go so far as to "cleverly" hide from ourselves the fact that we're going through a siege of "poor-me-ism." By the same token, in a split-second, we can easily find several dozen "valid" reasons for feeling sorry for ourselves.

Do I sometimes enjoy rubbing salt into my own wounds?

Today I Pray
May I recognize the emotions I am feeling for what they are. If I am unable to point them out to myself, may I count on others who know what it's like to be a feelings-sufferer. May I stay in touch with my feelings by staying in touch with my Higher Power and with the others in my group.

Today I Will Remember
Stay in touch.

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Humility has been the hardest of all the virtues to acquire for many of us. Few of us know what it actually is. Many have it and think they don't; many don't have it and think they do. Many admit they don't understand the word and forget it, leaving to the world to judge whether they have it or not.

The best way to acquire Humility is to constantly remind yourself how much lower than a snake's belly you would be but for the Grace of God. You made a horrible mess of running your life and failed completely, but that Grace could and did make you what you are today.

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 2020 - Good morning and let's do a throwback Hippie Wednesday make it a day of love and peace

Good morning and let's take from yesterday a message of love and peace because we need it now more than ever ...have a truly wonderful and productive but very, very safe day -- and don't allow anything and anyone the control to make it otherwise

July 28, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

To be human means having “defects of character.”

Perfection, our own and others’, was (and still is, for some of us), a burdensome expectation we have dragged everywhere. And because we’ve expected the impossible, we’ve lived either in perpetual shame over our own failings or in guilt over how we have treated others who were only human.

Many of us grew up with parents who demanded perfection. We never quite satisfied them, but we did, quite perfectly, learn how to expect perfection from others. It’s important to remember that our parents did the best they could and that we shouldn’t blame them for all our defects of character. But there is something we can do about our defects.

A big load is removed from our shoulders when we give up our obsession with perfection. Although it has worked in our favor on occasion, perhaps on a work assignment, the need for perfection is not something we have always kept in perspective. Sincerely doing our best is really quite good enough. God, as we understand God, expects nothing more.

I will try to do my best today, but I will not feel ashamed if I make mistakes.

Hazelden Foundation

July 28, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

Step by Step
Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Today, abstaining from drinking is not enough in recovery. Alcoholism is a three-level disease - physical, emotional, and spiritual. While not drinking is certainly a beginning, it is not the end. Not drinking will improve the physical ravages only but not the psychological and spiritual damage. It is for treatment of the emotional and spiritual that we have a recovery program. Here, we are given the tools to undo the damage we have done and, when repair isn't possible, how to accept our mistakes, forgive ourselves even when no one else does and move toward sobriety. Without that treatment we are less sober and more likely a dry drunk. Today, I accept that not drinking by itself is not enough to attain the sobriety and quality of the life I seek. Today, I pick up and begin to use the Program's 12 Steps of recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2020

July 28, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Tuesday, July 28, 2020

AA Thought for the Day
To continue the paraphrase of the psalm: "The judgments of the twelve steps are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than whiskey, yea, than much fine whiskey, sweeter also than wine. Moreover, by them are alcoholics warned and in keeping of them there is great reward. Who can understand our alcoholism? Cleanse us from secret faults. Keep us from presumptuous resentments. Let them not have dominion over us. Then shall we be upright and free of the great transgression."

Am I resolved that liquor will never again have dominion over me?

Meditation for the Day
God can be your shield. Then no problems of the world can harm you. Between you and all scorn and indignity from others is your trust in God, like a shining shield. Nothing can then have the power to spoil your inward peace. With this shield, you can attain this inward peace quickly, in your surroundings as well as in your heart. With this inward peace, you do not need to resent the person who troubles you. Instead, you can overcome the resentment in your own mind which may have been aroused by that person.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may strive for inward peace. I pray that I may not be seriously upset, no matter what happens around me.

Hazelden Foundation

July 28, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Reflection for the Day
We learn the value of meditation in The Program. As the beginning of the Eleventh Step suggests, we seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him. One of the great values of meditation is that it clears the mind. And as the mind becomes clearer, it becomes more capable and willing to acknowledge the truth. Less pain is required to force honest recognition of defects and their results. The real needs of the whole person are revealed.

Are prayer and meditation a regular part of my daily living?

Today I Pray
May God's truths be revealed to me through meditation and these small prayers, through contact with my group which keeps me mindful of my need to clear my mind with daily meditation. For only an uncluttered mind can receive God; only a mind cleansed of self-interest can acknowledge the truth.

Today I Will Remember
Meditation is a mind-cleanser.

Hazelden Foundation

July 28, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Tuesday, July 28, 2020

In AA, we must of necessity make the best use of our time. The hours must be allocated to our various affairs in proportion to their importance. We now have so many responsibilities we did not have in our drinking days.

If we wisely divide our time between our duties to our families, our jobs, our community, our God and getting our own lives in order, we will find little time left for worry, fear, self-pity or envy.

Hazelden Foundation

July 28, 2020 - Good morning, it's Tuesday and it's going to be a marvelous day for all of us

Good morning and let's set out on this terrific Tuesday with a determination to make it productive and worthwhile, and to dis-empower anything and anyone intent on sabotaging it for their own agendas

July 27, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

Monday, July 27, 2020

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Reflection for the Day

One thing that keeps me on the right track today is a feeling of loyalty to other people in recovery, no matter where they may be. We depend on each other. I know, for example, that I’d be letting them down if I ever took a drink or used. When I entered recovery, I found a group of people who were not only helping each other, but who were loyal to each other.

Am I loyal to my group and to my friends in recovery?

Today I Pray

I thank my Higher Power for the loyalty and fellowship of the group and for the mutuality of commitment that binds us together. May I give to the group in the same proportion that I take from it. Having been a taker during so many of my years, my giving used to be no more than a commodity, for which I expected to be paid in approval or love or favors. May I learn the joy of pure giving, with no strings attached, no expectation of reward.

Today I Will Remember

A perfect gift asks nothing in return.

Hazelden Foundation

July 27, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

Step by Step
Monday, July 27, 2020

"What is this power that AA possesses? This curative power? I don't know what it is. I suppose the doctor might say, 'This is psychosomatic medicine.' I suppose the psychiatrist might say, 'This is benevolent interpersonal relations.' I suppose others would say, 'This is group psychotherapy.'
To me, it is God." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 6 ("Physician, Heal Thyself!"), p 352.

Today, how many more voices of experience must I hear until I simply consider the possibility of a Higher Power if I am still struggling with the concept? If I continue to listen skeptically to the many voices of those who have recovered by giving their will to a Higher Power, maybe I can simply trust the AA command to "Keep It Simple" - simply take a leap of nothing but blind faith that something as good can exist if something as evil as alcohol can bring me to my knees. But if I still resist those voices of experience, hopefully I can muster the honesty to see that doing things my way hasn't worked and that maybe something outside myself can do a better job. Today, I seek if nothing else the blind faith to trust the voices of experience or, at least, my own history of not doing such a great job on my own. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2020

July 27, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Monday, July 27, 2020

AA Thought for the Day
To paraphrase the psalm: "We alcoholics declare the power of liquor and drunkenness showeth its handiwork. Day unto day uttereth hangovers and night unto night showeth suffering. The law of AA is perfect, converting the drunk. The testimony of AA is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of AA are right, rejoicing the heart. The program of AA is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the first drink is clean, enduring forever."

Have I any doubt about the power of liquor?

Meditation for the Day
"Walk humbly with thy Lord." Walking with God means practicing the presence of God in your daily affairs. It means asking God for strength to face each new day. It means turning to Him often during the day in prayer for yourself and for other people. It means thanking Him at night for the blessings you have received during the day. Nothing can seriously upset you if you are "walking with God." You can believe that He is beside you in spirit, to help you and to guide you on your way.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may try to walk humbly with God. I pray that I may turn to Him often as to a close friend.

Hazelden Foundation

July 27, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Monday, July 27, 2020

Reflection for the Day
Over and over, I see that those who make the best and steadiest progress in The Program are those who readily accept the help of a Higher Power. Once they can do that, it's easier for them to get out of their own way. Their problems then seem to resolve themselves in a way that is beyond human understanding.

Do I realize that the effectiveness with which I use the consciousness of God in my daily life depends not on Him, but on me?

Today I Pray
May I know that my recovery and growth depend on my being in touch with my Higher Power, not just once in a while, but always. It means turning to that Power several times a day to ask for strength and knowledge of His will. When I understand that my own life is part of a Higher Plan, I will be less apt to trip and fall, head off in the wrong direction, or just to sit tight and let life pass me by.

Today I Will Remember
To be God-conscious.

Hazelden Foundation

July 27, 2020 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Monday, July 27, 2020

Everything you can buy with money will either die, rot, wither, evaporate or decay. There is nothing you can purchase that will surely last as long as you will, unless it be bad health.

Friends can be bought, not with money, but by a liberal expenditure of yourself. A dollar is a poor weapon to fight off real troubles.

God is Good and the truly Good things of this life were put here on earth for our use by Him and not one of them carries a price tag.

Hazelden Foundation