Thursday, July 25, 2019
Today, self-pity comes off my dance card. Just as alcohol drove me to being sick and tired of being sick and tired, so it goes with self-pity. The reason for self-pity can never be justified. For me, self-pity ranks behind resentment as the quickest and surest way to a slip or relapse. I have to ask why I harbor pity for myself. Is it because I endured so many travails during and after my drinking days? Or maybe I lost a job or two, got a lifetime driver's license suspension, drank my way into a sea of debt, got a divorce or two, have family who still wants nothing to do with me. Or maybe there's a more "acceptable" reason like death taking too much from me. And what is the function of self-pity? Maybe my ego still requires me to be the center of attention, or maybe I have a victim complex, or maybe I'm looking for justification to start drinking again - or to keep drinking. Or maybe I simply don't know how to deal with whatever psychic pain exists. Whatever its reason or purpose, self-pity serves only to impose isolation and keeps me from feeling and living something better. Today, just as it did with drinking, the same goes for self-pity: enough's enough! And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2019
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